The happiest people have three „essential” types of friends in their lives, says a researcher.
Many of us measure our friendships based on depth or quantity: Do I have enough close friends? Do they respond to my messages? Do they like me?
But after spending the last 15 years studying happiness, Jessica Weiss learned that when you evaluate your friendships based solely on these parameters, you become lonelier.
Strong relationships are the key to happiness and health, according to the Harvard Study of Adult Development. But "strong relationships" do not mean a deep friendship with a best friend or a long list of friends who are impossible to distinguish from one another. It means having the right combination, says Weiss, a motivational speaker and executive coach who teaches individuals and companies how to enjoy more happiness, fulfillment, and satisfaction in the workplace.
In her research, she found that there are three essential types of friends we need in life to truly be happy, as reported by CNBC. Here's how we can identify them and why they are so important.
Anchor Friends
These are the ones you'd call at 2:00 in the morning. The ones who see all your flaws and appreciate you for them. This is a friendship where you feel safe to be vulnerable.
These people know your story, fears, values, and keep you grounded. They will support and stand by you no matter what.
Why are they essential for happiness? Because such friends can support you in the toughest moments of life, whether it's a career crisis, the end of a relationship, or a personal loss. They are your foundation for connection and resilience.
Spark Friends
These are people outside your usual circle. It could be a yoga classmate. Or someone you met at a conference who works in a different field. Or your neighbor who has a totally different life experience from yours, yet is a kindred spirit.
Spark friends bring fresh energy and stimulation into your life. They remind you that there are different ways to live, work, and be. They bring novelty, ease, and new possibilities into your life, acting as sources of unexpected inspiration.
Why are they essential for happiness: they help us avoid isolation and stagnation, especially as we age. Research has found that older adults with more "weak ties," as these friends are often called, experience greater emotional resilience and fewer depressive symptoms, the expert mentions.
You may not talk to such a friend every day, but when you do, you always learn something or feel energized.
Bridge Friends
These are the kind of people who have different access, experience, or influence than you. It could be your mentor, an older and wiser friend, a former boss, or a teacher who has become your colleague.
The bridge friend is often someone a few steps ahead or a few steps behind you, if you're the one providing mentorship. Bridge friends offer perspective. They broaden your sense of what is achievable and can help you see how far you've come.
Why are they essential for happiness: these connections remind you of the many ways to live a good life and that you are on the right path, which can help you develop a sense of optimism about the future.
In conclusion, Jessica Weiss recommends three questions that can help anyone figure out what kind of friends they have:
- Do I have anchor friends with whom I can be completely authentic?
- Do I know how to make friends outside my usual circles?
- Do I have bridge friends who guide me or whom I guide?
If you lack any of these types, you know whom to focus on. These connections could be closer than you think.
Remember, you don't need 100 friends to be happy. The key is to have a strategic variety. That's how you build a happy and resilient life, emphasizes the American expert.
T.D.