Psychologist: How social networks affect romantic relationships

dan.ivanescu

Psiholog

Dan Ivănescu este un psiholog și educator cu 15 ani de activitate, specializat în consilierea copiilor şi adulţilor cu probleme de sănătate mintală, abuz de substanțe, dificultăți emoţionale, probleme de adaptare, comportamente agresive şi auto-agresive. De-a lungul timpului a lucrat cu diverse categorii, de la copii aflați în medii sociale defavorizate din România la adolescenți cu tulburări de personalitate până la imigranți adulți. El crede în potențialul ascuns în oameni, dar și în capacitatea lor de a depăși chiar și cele mai dificile situații. Și crede în puterea de a face bine a celor care lucrează cu oamenii. Dan Ivănescu este de părere că nu vorbim suficient în România despre problemele psihice și psihiatrice. În consecință, specialiștii îi pot ajuta enorm nu doar pe pacienții lor, ci și pe cei din marea majoritate a populației. Aceasta nu înțelege rolul sănătății mintale, fie se ferește de un așa-zis stigmat pe care îl aduce grija pentru starea ta de bine. Dan vrea să vorbească despre aceste probleme, să le aducă la suprafață până când mai mulți oameni vor înțelege că a avea grijă de sănătatea minții și sufletului tău e la fel de importantă precum sănătatea fizică.

One of the main effects of using social networks is that people who spend a lot of time online reduce the time invested in their couple relationship. Therefore, problems can arise between partners, considering that there is an imbalance in terms of each one’s contribution to the relationship for it to function.

Conflicts and tensions in a couple can also arise because on social networks, there is a tendency to project a perfect image of couples, families, or personal lives. This can lead to one of the partners desiring something they see on these networks, which may not actually exist in reality.

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As a result, frustrations and reproaches towards each other may arise, such as: "look where X couple went on vacation" or "look at the bouquet of flowers he bought for his girlfriend" etc. The reproaches keep accumulating, and it is very likely for the relationship to start "creaking."

Another issue is that we somehow end up desiring more validation from that social network sometimes from strangers more than personal validation or validation from the person next to us.

We sit and count how many likes we have on a certain photo, or we get upset if a certain person did not like something we posted, or we get upset about some negative comments possibly made by strangers we have no connection with.

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The problem arises when the opinion of the person we are in a relationship with starts to matter less and less because no matter what they say, it's just one person compared to tens/hundreds or even thousands on social networks.

When this happens, frustrations and dissatisfaction emerge from the person next to us who notices that their opinion matters less, and the tendency is to withdraw until they eventually leave the relationship because it is difficult to argue against tens or even hundreds of IDs on one network or another.

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I know that technically they are called social networks, but what has been achieved through them is the opposite effect of socializing, reducing the ability of many to have face-to-face discussions and giving a voice to those who do not wish to listen, understand, or accept others' opinions.

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