Entering into marriage is one of the most significant decisions a person can make in life. The adventure of love, the promise of a life together, and building a family are thoughts that bring excitement and hope.
However, alongside the inherent romanticism of this step, there is also the need to deeply reflect on how we will build this life as a couple.
One of the most effective ways to start this journey with a firm step is **premarital counseling**
Although some couples may feel that love is enough to overcome any obstacle, statistics and others' experiences show that careful and conscious preparation can make the difference between a harmonious marriage and one where misunderstandings and frustrations become too difficult to manage.
The Importance of Self-Knowledge and Understanding the Other
Premarital counseling provides a safe space for partners to explore their personal identity, understanding how it influences their relationship. Knowing ourselves – with values, desires, expectations, and vulnerabilities – is an essential first step in building a healthy relationship.
Equally important is **understanding the partner**. Understanding each other's past, the experiences that have shaped their beliefs and behaviors, can prevent unnecessary conflicts. Additionally, counseling paves the way for deeper and more authentic communication, helping partners develop active listening skills and empathy.
Life Ideals and Expectations in Couple Life
Another essential aspect to be discussed in premarital counseling is **the vision of life**. Often, couples may have different ideals regarding where they will live, their careers, lifestyle, or how they envision family life.
These differences may remain unspoken during the infatuation phase, only to become sources of conflict later on.
**Expectations of couple and family life** are another central point of discussion.
What does it mean to be supported in a relationship? What expectations do we have from our partner when facing difficult times? What does it mean for each of us to feel loved?
These questions may seem simple, but the answers can vary significantly from one person to another. Premarital counseling helps clarify these expectations and create a solid foundation for future marriage.
Statistical Data on Marriage and Divorce in Europe
To underline the importance of marriage preparation, it is useful to analyze some general statistical data.
In Europe, the marriage rate has been steadily decreasing in recent decades, while the divorce rate has been increasing.
For example, in 2021, the divorce rate in the European Union was approximately 1.9 divorces per 1,000 inhabitants, while the marriage rate was around 4.3 marriages per 1,000 inhabitants.
Additionally, the average duration of a marriage before divorce is about 15 years, but many of those who divorce claim that the first major issues arose within the first five years of living together.
These statistics should not discourage couples but rather emphasize the need for solid preparation for couple life. Premarital counseling can help identify potential issues before they become too significant and affect the long-term relationship.
Essential Topics to Discuss in Premarital Counseling
Premarital counseling offers a wide range of topics that can be discussed, depending on the needs of each couple. Among the most common and important themes are:
1. Expectations regarding love and support – What does it mean for each partner to be loved? How is support manifested in a couple?
2. Physical and emotional intimacy – How do we express affection? What are our expectations regarding physical intimacy and how do we manage emotional vulnerability?
3. Finances – One of the most common reasons for conflict in a marriage is money management. It is important for partners to discuss budget, savings, investments, and financial responsibilities before getting married.
4. Relationship with the extended families – How do we relate to our parents and siblings after marriage? How involved will they be in our couple's life?
5. Career and roles in marriage – How will household responsibilities be divided, and how will each partner's career influence the family dynamic?
6. Children and parenting – If the couple desires children, it is important to discuss how they will be raised and the roles each parent will play in their education.
Benefits of Premarital Counseling
Participating in premarital counseling brings multiple long-term benefits.
Firstly, it helps in **building effective communication**, providing partners with the necessary tools to express their thoughts and emotions without feeling judged.
Secondly, counseling provides **emotional clarity**, helping the two individuals identify possible conflict areas and address them in time.
Additionally, premarital counseling promotes **responsibility**. Partners become more aware of the importance of their commitment and that a harmonious relationship is not only based on feelings but also on the joint effort to maintain balance and mutual respect.
Conclusion
Marriage is a beautiful journey, full of challenges and rewards. Preparing for this journey through premarital counseling does not mean the relationship is problematic, but rather that both partners wish to build something lasting and solid.
Understanding oneself, the partner, and common expectations are essential foundations for a happy and fulfilling couple life.